Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where's pop corn?
Q: What do dogs eat at movie theaters?
Moving from cheesy jokes to corny jokes. (I stole these jokes, by the way, so don't kill the messenger. The cheese jokes I will take responsibility for. Read them again. They're better once they've aged.)
Sometimes late at night, like around 1:30 in the morning, I will want something to munch on. Nothing too heavy and nothing involving a lot of cooking or preparation. Tonight, I settled for popcorn. I always get the kind with as much butter as the law allows, but somehow it's not enough for me. One downside of the butter popcorn is the greasy fingers. I always need to keep paper towels nearby so I don't get the Playstation controller or my keyboard covered in oil. I also never finish the whole bag. When half the bag is gone, I get sick of the airy snack and go look for a cookie or something. After I get tired of the popcorn and toss it, the smell of lightly buttered popcorn still fills the house, making me even more sick of it.
So what I need is for one of Orville Reddenbacher's engineers to develop a less odorous super-buttery flavor using a minimal amount of oil, and then package it in snack size servings (If they make those stupid 6 oz cans of sodas, and those 2 oz Doritos packages, I see no reason why they can't do this).