No cheesy jokes today.
But if the 49ers played in Green Bay, all the fans would have big green moldy hats on.
The 49ers need to upgrade at quarterback, running back, wide receiver, offensive line, defensive line, cornerback, safety, and punter. (Linebackers and place kickers, and long snappers are okay.) It would be nice to get a new owner, GM, and coach too.
It's week 12 in the NFL and we had a matchup with a combined 2 wins. Losing to Miami and AJ-Freaking-Feeley is pretty sad. The Niners need more than the number 1 pick next year. They're probably going to mess that up by drafting a kicker or end up trading it straight up for new footballs and $50.
The good news: the 49ers are ranked 23rd in the latest BCS. They're in line to receive a bid to the Toilet Bowl, to be played in Suckyville.
November 28, 2004
November 24, 2004
I received my Seinfeld dvd's from Amazon today. Must watch. But I have to get a pizza first. One with extra CHEESE.
What kind of cheesse could you live in? Cottage cheese
What is Frankenstein's favorite cheese? Muenster
What do you call when your cheese won't start? A Chee-tos truck
When is cheese not cheese? When string cheese gets tangled, it's knot cheese
How do you kill a vampire in Philadelphia? With a cheese-stake
Thank you, you've been grate!
What kind of cheesse could you live in? Cottage cheese
What is Frankenstein's favorite cheese? Muenster
What do you call when your cheese won't start? A Chee-tos truck
When is cheese not cheese? When string cheese gets tangled, it's knot cheese
How do you kill a vampire in Philadelphia? With a cheese-stake
Thank you, you've been grate!
November 23, 2004
The release of the Seinfeld DVDs got me thinking about comedy again. I'm preparing for the 'Don't Call it a Comeback I've Been Here For Years But I Was Doing Other Stuff' tour. Maybe the title needs work. I'm a little rusty, but I'm going to take some of my old jokes and add a bunch of cheesy jokes.
What kind of cheese do dogs like? Mutts-arella
What do you say to a killer doll before taking his picture? Chucky Cheese!
What kind of cheese do twins eat? Pair-mesan
What is Enron's favorite kind of cheese? Shredded cheese
What kind of cheese did Jesus serve at the Last Supper? Swiss, cause it's holey
What kind of cheese do they have in strip clubs? G-string cheese
and my all time favorite, What do you call cheese that's mine? Not-cho cheese.
Thank you, I'll be here all week. (That's only a sample. I've got 2 solid minutes of this crap.)
What kind of cheese do dogs like? Mutts-arella
What do you say to a killer doll before taking his picture? Chucky Cheese!
What kind of cheese do twins eat? Pair-mesan
What is Enron's favorite kind of cheese? Shredded cheese
What kind of cheese did Jesus serve at the Last Supper? Swiss, cause it's holey
What kind of cheese do they have in strip clubs? G-string cheese
and my all time favorite, What do you call cheese that's mine? Not-cho cheese.
Thank you, I'll be here all week. (That's only a sample. I've got 2 solid minutes of this crap.)
November 21, 2004
Cal is a big sports fan. But this weekend, Cal was mad at several sports.
NBA
I hate this league. I think the players are a bunch of selfish bastards (except for Steve Nash and Fred Hoiberg). I want Indiana players to be charged with assult for their actions in Detroit. In any other job where you get paid millions of dollars, if you go in to work and punch a client in the face, would your boss tell you to come back in 25 days? And the Warriors Suck (with a capital S).
NASCAR
I hate Kurt Busch. If people thought last year's champ Matt Kenseth was boring, wait till you see this guy. Jeff Gordon was robbed by the stupid new points system. He should be celebrating his 5th title right now. After 26 races Jeff Gordon, who lost the title by 16 points, was leading eventual second place finisher Jimmie Johnson by about 60 points and everyone else by well over 100. But the retards running NASCAR wanted a 'playoff' system like football and the other sports. Reminds me of how Israel kept asking God for a king so they could be like all the other nations in I Samuel.
NHL
I wish the millioniares and billioniares would settle their differences so we could hockey again.
I missed hockey so much that this weekend, I watched the last half hour of The Mighty Ducks 2 on tv. As I watched this movie, I noticed that Miracle (another hockey movie produced by Disney) stole some scenes from Ducks 2. The not working hard in a game so we're going to have a post game practice where we do sprints till we drop scene. And even the very dramatic (in Miracle) scene where the players say their names and what city they are from to bond as a team scene.
But even watching this movie got me irrated. This movie was also a shameless promo for the then-Disney owned Anaheim Ducks franchise. The US junior team traded in their USA uniforms for Mighty Ducks uniforms in the middle of the championiship game. Trading in the red, white, and blue while playing in an international tournament! The editing was also poorly done. A player on the ice would get an assist for a goal, then half a second later in the very next shot, the SAME PLAYER would be on the bench with his helmet off cheering for his teammate who just scored from a pass which HE made. In any case, the classic Sharks games on FSN aren't cutting it.
NFL
The NFL has done a great job selling its product, but I think it is trying too hard to draw non-football fans in. Just show the games, and people will watch. We don't need rock stars doing halftime or pregame concerts, and we don't need movie stars making promos. That whole Owens MNF thing was just blown way out of proportion. Just show some good teams playing. The 49ers SUCK (all caps).
But I do have some good news. The Cal Bears football team is awesome.
NBA
I hate this league. I think the players are a bunch of selfish bastards (except for Steve Nash and Fred Hoiberg). I want Indiana players to be charged with assult for their actions in Detroit. In any other job where you get paid millions of dollars, if you go in to work and punch a client in the face, would your boss tell you to come back in 25 days? And the Warriors Suck (with a capital S).
NASCAR
I hate Kurt Busch. If people thought last year's champ Matt Kenseth was boring, wait till you see this guy. Jeff Gordon was robbed by the stupid new points system. He should be celebrating his 5th title right now. After 26 races Jeff Gordon, who lost the title by 16 points, was leading eventual second place finisher Jimmie Johnson by about 60 points and everyone else by well over 100. But the retards running NASCAR wanted a 'playoff' system like football and the other sports. Reminds me of how Israel kept asking God for a king so they could be like all the other nations in I Samuel.
NHL
I wish the millioniares and billioniares would settle their differences so we could hockey again.
I missed hockey so much that this weekend, I watched the last half hour of The Mighty Ducks 2 on tv. As I watched this movie, I noticed that Miracle (another hockey movie produced by Disney) stole some scenes from Ducks 2. The not working hard in a game so we're going to have a post game practice where we do sprints till we drop scene. And even the very dramatic (in Miracle) scene where the players say their names and what city they are from to bond as a team scene.
But even watching this movie got me irrated. This movie was also a shameless promo for the then-Disney owned Anaheim Ducks franchise. The US junior team traded in their USA uniforms for Mighty Ducks uniforms in the middle of the championiship game. Trading in the red, white, and blue while playing in an international tournament! The editing was also poorly done. A player on the ice would get an assist for a goal, then half a second later in the very next shot, the SAME PLAYER would be on the bench with his helmet off cheering for his teammate who just scored from a pass which HE made. In any case, the classic Sharks games on FSN aren't cutting it.
NFL
The NFL has done a great job selling its product, but I think it is trying too hard to draw non-football fans in. Just show the games, and people will watch. We don't need rock stars doing halftime or pregame concerts, and we don't need movie stars making promos. That whole Owens MNF thing was just blown way out of proportion. Just show some good teams playing. The 49ers SUCK (all caps).
But I do have some good news. The Cal Bears football team is awesome.
November 18, 2004
Adventures in Youth Ministry
Chapter 1
On Wednesdays, I pick up a whole mess of kids from Lincoln Elementary here in Richmond. I think I know 35% of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders there just through King's Club. This week, As soon as the first kid hopped in the van, he was telling me how Eric, another kid who attends our King's Club program, broke his head. I asked him to explain, and he told me how Eric was running around and jumping through the guard rails on the ramps of the temporary buildings and he fell and his head was bleeding.
At first, I thought he just fell and got a cut. But then another kid got there and told me the same thing and that Eric had to be taken away by paramedics. It seemed a lot of kids had seen what happened, or at least saw the aftermath of it. From their descriptions, there was a lot of blood that came from this little kid's head. During our program, my director gathered all the kids together so they could talk about what happened. A lot of them were scared because they had never seen someone hurt so bad. When we put their stories together, it seemed there might have been a point when Eric passed out or something because he stopped crying. We encouraged all the kids that day, even those who didn't go to Lincoln, to pray for Eric. Many did. The rest of the day, the KC staff was worried about what might have happened to Eric.
Today, we were able to contact Eric's dad, and he told us Eric was going to be okay. He had 27 stitches put into his head so it must have been one freaking huge gash. His head is pretty small, too. He's going to stay home for about 2 weeks, but should be fine after that. Praise God for that.
Chapter 2
Part of my job at work is to make sure all the kids get home safely, especially the younger kids. I was driving the kids home in the van and I get to a kid named Sebastian. The car is not in front, so it looks like nobody is home. Sebestian tells me he can hop the gate and go in through the back door, which is unlocked. I wait to see if he can get in, but it turns out the back door was locked. As he gets ready to head over to a neighbor's place, his big ol' dog comes running out to the street. Sebastian jumped over the gate to get to the back yard, but was unable to climb back out, so he had to open the little door to get out. So now the Baja Men know that it was Sebestian who let the dog out.
This 4th grader tried unsuccessfully to order his dog back inside the gate. He chases it around and tried to drag it back, but is no match for the canine. I, along with the two other kids still in the van are greatly amused by Sebestian's efforts. He tries to hit the dog with a stick, sits on the dog and tried to pull it, and even kicks it a few times. (If you know me, I think dogs make great soccer balls.) After a few minutes, one of the kids suggests that maybe I should go help.
So I reluctantly get out and try to help him corner the dog and run it back inside. It doesn't work. Then since this dog likes to jump at me, I would make it chase me inside, then we would shut the gate and run out. It would follow me until we got close to the gate. The path was really narrow and we couldn't lock the 4 foot door from the front side. So I'm standing there in the backyard with the door locked, but we can't get out because the freaking dog is still jumping at me, grabbing my arm and occasionally trying to bite me. I give Sebastian a boost to get over the gate, and he tells me to just kick his dog, since its old and fat and stupid and it won't feel it. I thought about it, but I resist the temptation to play Pele. I would have felt bad if I hurt the kid's dog.
Eventually, we decide that Sebestian has to come back over the gate, I would climb out while he was keeping the dog away from me, and then I would pull him over the door. It worked. I ended up with a few scratches on my left arm. But now I can add dogcatcher to my resume.
By the way, if anyone wants to make some financial contributions to a charitable organization this holiday season, here are some Bay Area Rescue Mission stats:
For every dollar donated, 6.05 cents goes to admin and overhaead, 12.35 cents go to fundraising costs. That means 81.59 cents go to funding programs and services for our clients. (and 0.0008 cents per dollar goes to my salary)
$1.79 pays for one meal
$8.02 provides for an overnight stay with 2 meals for an individual
$9.81 provides a full day of care (shelter, counseling, etc) and 3 meals for one person
Feel free to contact me or check out the website for more info.
Chapter 1
On Wednesdays, I pick up a whole mess of kids from Lincoln Elementary here in Richmond. I think I know 35% of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders there just through King's Club. This week, As soon as the first kid hopped in the van, he was telling me how Eric, another kid who attends our King's Club program, broke his head. I asked him to explain, and he told me how Eric was running around and jumping through the guard rails on the ramps of the temporary buildings and he fell and his head was bleeding.
At first, I thought he just fell and got a cut. But then another kid got there and told me the same thing and that Eric had to be taken away by paramedics. It seemed a lot of kids had seen what happened, or at least saw the aftermath of it. From their descriptions, there was a lot of blood that came from this little kid's head. During our program, my director gathered all the kids together so they could talk about what happened. A lot of them were scared because they had never seen someone hurt so bad. When we put their stories together, it seemed there might have been a point when Eric passed out or something because he stopped crying. We encouraged all the kids that day, even those who didn't go to Lincoln, to pray for Eric. Many did. The rest of the day, the KC staff was worried about what might have happened to Eric.
Today, we were able to contact Eric's dad, and he told us Eric was going to be okay. He had 27 stitches put into his head so it must have been one freaking huge gash. His head is pretty small, too. He's going to stay home for about 2 weeks, but should be fine after that. Praise God for that.
Chapter 2
Part of my job at work is to make sure all the kids get home safely, especially the younger kids. I was driving the kids home in the van and I get to a kid named Sebastian. The car is not in front, so it looks like nobody is home. Sebestian tells me he can hop the gate and go in through the back door, which is unlocked. I wait to see if he can get in, but it turns out the back door was locked. As he gets ready to head over to a neighbor's place, his big ol' dog comes running out to the street. Sebastian jumped over the gate to get to the back yard, but was unable to climb back out, so he had to open the little door to get out. So now the Baja Men know that it was Sebestian who let the dog out.
This 4th grader tried unsuccessfully to order his dog back inside the gate. He chases it around and tried to drag it back, but is no match for the canine. I, along with the two other kids still in the van are greatly amused by Sebestian's efforts. He tries to hit the dog with a stick, sits on the dog and tried to pull it, and even kicks it a few times. (If you know me, I think dogs make great soccer balls.) After a few minutes, one of the kids suggests that maybe I should go help.
So I reluctantly get out and try to help him corner the dog and run it back inside. It doesn't work. Then since this dog likes to jump at me, I would make it chase me inside, then we would shut the gate and run out. It would follow me until we got close to the gate. The path was really narrow and we couldn't lock the 4 foot door from the front side. So I'm standing there in the backyard with the door locked, but we can't get out because the freaking dog is still jumping at me, grabbing my arm and occasionally trying to bite me. I give Sebastian a boost to get over the gate, and he tells me to just kick his dog, since its old and fat and stupid and it won't feel it. I thought about it, but I resist the temptation to play Pele. I would have felt bad if I hurt the kid's dog.
Eventually, we decide that Sebestian has to come back over the gate, I would climb out while he was keeping the dog away from me, and then I would pull him over the door. It worked. I ended up with a few scratches on my left arm. But now I can add dogcatcher to my resume.
By the way, if anyone wants to make some financial contributions to a charitable organization this holiday season, here are some Bay Area Rescue Mission stats:
For every dollar donated, 6.05 cents goes to admin and overhaead, 12.35 cents go to fundraising costs. That means 81.59 cents go to funding programs and services for our clients. (and 0.0008 cents per dollar goes to my salary)
$1.79 pays for one meal
$8.02 provides for an overnight stay with 2 meals for an individual
$9.81 provides a full day of care (shelter, counseling, etc) and 3 meals for one person
Feel free to contact me or check out the website for more info.
November 16, 2004
I used the ATM machine today. But I did something different. On the select language screen, instead of picking English, I decided to test my knowledge of Spanish. Of course, since I had memorized the buttons I needed to push, the language on the screen didn't really matter. But when it was time to get my dinero, I was mad when the freakin machine spit out some pesos instead of the usual 20 dollar bills. (Just kidding, but the reciept I got was in Spanish.)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume 3! The best Aqua Teen yet!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume 3! The best Aqua Teen yet!
November 14, 2004
Saturday Night Live really sucks now. They've been going downhill since everyone left to do movies and make big bucks. Even if the sketches sucked, the Weekend Update segment was always my favorite segment. Until now. Tina Fey is still awesome, but Amy Poehler sucks. She should be replaced with Seth Meyers. Or go back to the one person Weekend Update days of Kevin Nealon, Colin Quinn, and Norm Macdonald. It wasn't that long ago that SNL was really good (kind of like the 49ers). You know it's bad when one of the first shows of the season after Jimmy Fallon leaves is the Best of Jimmy Fallon.
Mad Cal's Top 5 shows:
1. The West Wing I would vote for Jed Bartlet. Even though I hate award shows, I can see how this show has all those Emmys.
2. Scrubs I miss Heather Graham, but still the best sitcom on tv. Just hope I never have to go to a hospital like this one.
3. Arrested Development This show is hilarious. Very well written. There's a lot of characters, but the show does a great job keeping everyone involved.
4. NFL Matchup For football nerds only. I like hearing Ron Jaworski and Merrill Hoge argue about whether it's more important to pass or run.
5. She Spies This is the best part about SNL. When it ends, She Spies comes on. Pretty women fighting bad guys.
I don't think I watch much else on tv. Sports, a couple of cable news shows, maybe Malcolm in the Middle or Seinfeld, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. TV is so boring some days it almost makes me want to read.
Mad Cal's Top 5 shows:
1. The West Wing I would vote for Jed Bartlet. Even though I hate award shows, I can see how this show has all those Emmys.
2. Scrubs I miss Heather Graham, but still the best sitcom on tv. Just hope I never have to go to a hospital like this one.
3. Arrested Development This show is hilarious. Very well written. There's a lot of characters, but the show does a great job keeping everyone involved.
4. NFL Matchup For football nerds only. I like hearing Ron Jaworski and Merrill Hoge argue about whether it's more important to pass or run.
5. She Spies This is the best part about SNL. When it ends, She Spies comes on. Pretty women fighting bad guys.
I don't think I watch much else on tv. Sports, a couple of cable news shows, maybe Malcolm in the Middle or Seinfeld, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. TV is so boring some days it almost makes me want to read.
November 11, 2004
Time for a list of things that make Cal Mad:
The NBA
Not only do many teams just plain suck (Golden State Warriors included), but the players make me sick. Latrell Sprewell (his hairstyle makes me sick too) is making 14.6 million US dollars this year and he wants a contract extension so he could 'feed my family.' Ron Artest wants to take some time off from his job of playing basketball, which pays him 5.85 million US dollars a year, so he could promote his soon to be released rap album.
Of course, the fact that the NBA make me throw up hasn't stopped me from participating in two fantasy NBA leagues.
Baseball is over, NASCAR is ending, so hockey better come back soon. Man shall not live on football alone. Especially not if the NFL continues to wear hideous uniforms.
Mail-in Rebates
There's some stuff I purchase only because the price with a MIR is decent. I just bought a new 80GB hard drive from Fry's this week, and with a $30 rebate, it will come out to about $40, tax included. So while I like the final price, I hate waiting the 6 to 600 weeks for the rebate check. In fact, there are some products whose rebates never get back to me. Like that stupid Quaker State motor oil. I buy Quaker State because that's what the 24 Dupont team uses, but I only pick up cases when they're on sale at Kragen. I'm sure I have sent in at least 3 of their 'rebate' forms and have yet to receive anything in return. I'm going to have to speak to Jeff Gordon about that.
Windows
I hate WIndows. Not the see-through kind, the Microsoft kind. Whatever Windows problem my computer had also afflicted the computer I 'borrowed' from work. I got it fixed in about a day, but that blue screen of death gets me mad. I end up smashing my mouse and keyboard a lot. But it's working now. It's a hate-like relationship with Bill Gates.
Michael Moore
This guy annoys me. He's working on Farenheit 9/11 1/2, a sequel to his hit documentary. I have no problem with that. Go make some more money. But what bothers me is this quote from him: "Fifty-one percent of the American people lacked information (in this election) and we want to educate and enlighten them." Just because people voted for George W does not make them uneducated or lacking information. Why must people always insist that their way of thinking is right and if someone disagrees, then they are stupid? That's so childish. Only one person can claim to be right all the time, every time. Me. And Jesus. At least Moore's sequel will succeed in one way where Farenheit did not: getting Bush out of the White House.
Hangnails
They don't really get me mad. But they cause a huge amount of pain for such a small amount of skin cells.
The NBA
Not only do many teams just plain suck (Golden State Warriors included), but the players make me sick. Latrell Sprewell (his hairstyle makes me sick too) is making 14.6 million US dollars this year and he wants a contract extension so he could 'feed my family.' Ron Artest wants to take some time off from his job of playing basketball, which pays him 5.85 million US dollars a year, so he could promote his soon to be released rap album.
Of course, the fact that the NBA make me throw up hasn't stopped me from participating in two fantasy NBA leagues.
Baseball is over, NASCAR is ending, so hockey better come back soon. Man shall not live on football alone. Especially not if the NFL continues to wear hideous uniforms.
Mail-in Rebates
There's some stuff I purchase only because the price with a MIR is decent. I just bought a new 80GB hard drive from Fry's this week, and with a $30 rebate, it will come out to about $40, tax included. So while I like the final price, I hate waiting the 6 to 600 weeks for the rebate check. In fact, there are some products whose rebates never get back to me. Like that stupid Quaker State motor oil. I buy Quaker State because that's what the 24 Dupont team uses, but I only pick up cases when they're on sale at Kragen. I'm sure I have sent in at least 3 of their 'rebate' forms and have yet to receive anything in return. I'm going to have to speak to Jeff Gordon about that.
Windows
I hate WIndows. Not the see-through kind, the Microsoft kind. Whatever Windows problem my computer had also afflicted the computer I 'borrowed' from work. I got it fixed in about a day, but that blue screen of death gets me mad. I end up smashing my mouse and keyboard a lot. But it's working now. It's a hate-like relationship with Bill Gates.
Michael Moore
This guy annoys me. He's working on Farenheit 9/11 1/2, a sequel to his hit documentary. I have no problem with that. Go make some more money. But what bothers me is this quote from him: "Fifty-one percent of the American people lacked information (in this election) and we want to educate and enlighten them." Just because people voted for George W does not make them uneducated or lacking information. Why must people always insist that their way of thinking is right and if someone disagrees, then they are stupid? That's so childish. Only one person can claim to be right all the time, every time. Me. And Jesus. At least Moore's sequel will succeed in one way where Farenheit did not: getting Bush out of the White House.
Hangnails
They don't really get me mad. But they cause a huge amount of pain for such a small amount of skin cells.
November 10, 2004
Here's an article from the Contra Costa Times : link
The representative from the Bay Area Rescue Mission: Cal
A lot of the wooden toys are just little kid pull toys and junky things like that, but the bikes and a few items are really cool. We usually get about 15 - 20 bikes to give away to kids from them.
The representative from the Bay Area Rescue Mission: Cal
A lot of the wooden toys are just little kid pull toys and junky things like that, but the bikes and a few items are really cool. We usually get about 15 - 20 bikes to give away to kids from them.
A few days ago,I was flipping through channels and noticed that there are a bunch of good looking women on the country music channel (74 on Comcast in Richmond). And even though I couldn't name a single one of the hotties except for Shania, I decided to tune my car radio to the country music station (95.7 The Bear! GRRRRRR Not related to the Cal Bears) for the entire week. Yes, it makes no sense, but I don't care. That's what I did.
And 3 days into country music week, all I have ever learned about cowboys with guitars have changed. I've always thought country music would suck, and it may just be the NASCAR fever talking, but the music isn't bad. A lot of the songs are just about a relationship gone bad, getting drunk then going to church, chasing a horse, or some other story about what's going on in Texas, but I'm entertained by it.
Once I get a pickup truck (with a Jeff Gordon bumper sticker) and a shotgun, I'll start the Asian Redneck Club of California.
And 3 days into country music week, all I have ever learned about cowboys with guitars have changed. I've always thought country music would suck, and it may just be the NASCAR fever talking, but the music isn't bad. A lot of the songs are just about a relationship gone bad, getting drunk then going to church, chasing a horse, or some other story about what's going on in Texas, but I'm entertained by it.
Once I get a pickup truck (with a Jeff Gordon bumper sticker) and a shotgun, I'll start the Asian Redneck Club of California.
November 6, 2004
I've had to make a lot of decisions this week. And that's not counting the general election.
Buy the Albertson's cola or pay 30 cents more for the Pepsi?
Do laundry or buy socks?
Call or raise?
Slap this kid or punch that one?
Take a chance on Randy Moss playing or just start Az Hakim?
The three soft tacos or the grilled stuffed burrito?
Watch The Daily Show on Comedy Central or The West Wing on Bravo?
So to take my mind off all these stressful decisions, I finally beat the Manhunt video game (not related to the show Manhunt on Bravo). The only decisions I had to make was how to kill people and I even got to use the chainsaw in the last level. I've been wanting to play again since I saw Saw the Movie. (Saw is awesome, but don't take the kids.)
My choices in order: Pepsi, bought a six pack of socks from Target, raise, hit them both, hope Az scores a TD against Washington, three soft tacos, both.
Buy the Albertson's cola or pay 30 cents more for the Pepsi?
Do laundry or buy socks?
Call or raise?
Slap this kid or punch that one?
Take a chance on Randy Moss playing or just start Az Hakim?
The three soft tacos or the grilled stuffed burrito?
Watch The Daily Show on Comedy Central or The West Wing on Bravo?
So to take my mind off all these stressful decisions, I finally beat the Manhunt video game (not related to the show Manhunt on Bravo). The only decisions I had to make was how to kill people and I even got to use the chainsaw in the last level. I've been wanting to play again since I saw Saw the Movie. (Saw is awesome, but don't take the kids.)
My choices in order: Pepsi, bought a six pack of socks from Target, raise, hit them both, hope Az scores a TD against Washington, three soft tacos, both.
November 3, 2004
The Day After
The people of Ohio have spoken and George W. Bush will serve another term.
Red Sox win. Red states win. Redskins suck.
I stayed up pretty late to watch all the election coverage. And I mean all. MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, and the local news channels as well. All at once. 5 tv's were actually useful.
I heard at least 2 poker analogies used for election analysis. One refereed to Kerry basically needing an inside straight draw. Another was similiar, along the lines of "he keeps drawing that high face card to stay alive."
The best 5 minutes of the election coverage was when Al Sharpton was on for a segment with Jon Stewart and some former governor on the Daily Show. If Sharpton runs for president again in the future, I just might screw the issues and vote for him based on entertainment value alone. He's hilarious.
If I ever decide to run for the Senate instead of the White House, I'm going to move to Montana. 65 votes will get you the majority in that state.
Possible voter fraud in Richmond. I did not get to vote for the Richmond city council (and the one or two meaures for Richmond) on my ballot. 5 were elected out of 15 candidates, although it was impossible to find out any information about any of the candidates. What little info I did find,I was unable to use. The useless voting volunteer lady didn't know anything, so I had no say in the level of government that is closest to home. 1 of the people I would have voted for made the cut. A second one finished 6th, 1052 votes short (would have been 1051), and the others were at 9th, 11th and 14th place last time I checked. (One of our council members name is Tom Butt. I did not vote for him.)
The people of Ohio have spoken and George W. Bush will serve another term.
Red Sox win. Red states win. Redskins suck.
I stayed up pretty late to watch all the election coverage. And I mean all. MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, and the local news channels as well. All at once. 5 tv's were actually useful.
I heard at least 2 poker analogies used for election analysis. One refereed to Kerry basically needing an inside straight draw. Another was similiar, along the lines of "he keeps drawing that high face card to stay alive."
The best 5 minutes of the election coverage was when Al Sharpton was on for a segment with Jon Stewart and some former governor on the Daily Show. If Sharpton runs for president again in the future, I just might screw the issues and vote for him based on entertainment value alone. He's hilarious.
If I ever decide to run for the Senate instead of the White House, I'm going to move to Montana. 65 votes will get you the majority in that state.
Possible voter fraud in Richmond. I did not get to vote for the Richmond city council (and the one or two meaures for Richmond) on my ballot. 5 were elected out of 15 candidates, although it was impossible to find out any information about any of the candidates. What little info I did find,I was unable to use. The useless voting volunteer lady didn't know anything, so I had no say in the level of government that is closest to home. 1 of the people I would have voted for made the cut. A second one finished 6th, 1052 votes short (would have been 1051), and the others were at 9th, 11th and 14th place last time I checked. (One of our council members name is Tom Butt. I did not vote for him.)
November 1, 2004
For one day, Mad Cal will be Politi-Cal
6 reasons I am voting for George Bush
1. Gov. vs. Sen I believe former governors make better Presidents than former senators. The duties are more similiar, although on a much larger scale. I don't remember the exact numbers, but there have been much more former govs than former sens who have resided in the White House.
2. The Color Pink John Kerry wears a lot of pink ties. I do not like the color pink.
3. 'NASCAR Dads' Though I am not a dad, I am a NASCAR fan. Air Force One flying by Daytona International Speedway during the Daytona 500 was one of the coolest NASCAR images this year. (Other cool NASCAR moments: Jimmie Johnson's move to split 2 cars en route to victory at the Coca Cola 600 and all of Jeff Gordon's victories)
4. The Clinton Factor Most Bush supporters really like George W, while a lot of Kerry supporters seem to have a anyone-but-Bush attitude. I think some of the top Democrats are secretly waiting for Hillary Clinton to run in 2008 when there would not be an incumbent Republican. If Kerry wins, Mrs. Clinton will have to wait even longer. And I know know her husband Bill wants to be back in the White House.
5. The Heinz Factor I don't use ketchup. Only mustard and barbeque sauce on my burgers and hot dogs.
6. Baseball Kerry claims to be a Red Sox fan, yet he siad, if forced to choose one, he would rather win the election than see the Red Sox win the World Series. (Bastard!) Then there was the 'pitch' he threw from about 45 feet at Fenway which travelled about 37 feet. That strike that Bush threw at Yankee Stadium after 9/11 from the mound while wearing that bulletproof vest was so amazing that it inspired an episode of The West Wing. (President Bartlett had to practice throwing with a vest on for a ceremony at Camden yards.)
And I guess there's all that stuff about foriegn policy and whatever, but I'm voting in California, so it matters little. I wish we were a battleground state. That would be so much more exciting.
Bonus presidential note: When I run for President in 2016 or 2020, I will promise to ban pop-up ads and spyware under penalty of death. I think my computer may be infected with some speed-eating bacteria.
6 reasons I am voting for George Bush
1. Gov. vs. Sen I believe former governors make better Presidents than former senators. The duties are more similiar, although on a much larger scale. I don't remember the exact numbers, but there have been much more former govs than former sens who have resided in the White House.
2. The Color Pink John Kerry wears a lot of pink ties. I do not like the color pink.
3. 'NASCAR Dads' Though I am not a dad, I am a NASCAR fan. Air Force One flying by Daytona International Speedway during the Daytona 500 was one of the coolest NASCAR images this year. (Other cool NASCAR moments: Jimmie Johnson's move to split 2 cars en route to victory at the Coca Cola 600 and all of Jeff Gordon's victories)
4. The Clinton Factor Most Bush supporters really like George W, while a lot of Kerry supporters seem to have a anyone-but-Bush attitude. I think some of the top Democrats are secretly waiting for Hillary Clinton to run in 2008 when there would not be an incumbent Republican. If Kerry wins, Mrs. Clinton will have to wait even longer. And I know know her husband Bill wants to be back in the White House.
5. The Heinz Factor I don't use ketchup. Only mustard and barbeque sauce on my burgers and hot dogs.
6. Baseball Kerry claims to be a Red Sox fan, yet he siad, if forced to choose one, he would rather win the election than see the Red Sox win the World Series. (Bastard!) Then there was the 'pitch' he threw from about 45 feet at Fenway which travelled about 37 feet. That strike that Bush threw at Yankee Stadium after 9/11 from the mound while wearing that bulletproof vest was so amazing that it inspired an episode of The West Wing. (President Bartlett had to practice throwing with a vest on for a ceremony at Camden yards.)
And I guess there's all that stuff about foriegn policy and whatever, but I'm voting in California, so it matters little. I wish we were a battleground state. That would be so much more exciting.
Bonus presidential note: When I run for President in 2016 or 2020, I will promise to ban pop-up ads and spyware under penalty of death. I think my computer may be infected with some speed-eating bacteria.
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