September 17, 2007

There is this Bank of America that I pass by every day on my way to work. Like many local establishments, this place uses rent-an-elderly-cops to provide security. I often see one of these old guys outside on a smoking break. Every time I see this, I think to myself: I can take this guy down and rob the bank. Seriously, how is one or two of these guys supposed to stop criminals when they need help carrying their groceries and have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes?

I've seen several episodes of Human Weapon on the History Channel, so disarming a 60 year old security guard shouldn't be a problem. (Besides, if a 60 year old rent-a-cop can stop me, I deserve to get arrested.) I've seen enough bank robbery shows/movies to know that at least one other person in the bank will have a gun or Navy Seals training, but they won't make a move as long as I have the rent-a-cop's gun/weapon pointed at someone. I won't be an idiot and take 40 minutes to clean out the bank vault. I just need to grab as much as I can in 3 minutes and then take off before the police arrive. I'll need one accomplice to be in the bank posing as a customer (just to watch out for the secret Navy Seals guy) and maybe a getaway driver (although I prefer to use my own NASCAR skills).

Not quite Ocean's Eleven, but I think it can be done. I'm going to file this one under Get Rich Quick Scheme #7.

1 comment:

Bob said...

We've seen the Tae Kwon Do episode and the Muay Thai ep.