Hillary Clinton had fans pick her theme song for her campaign to be President of the United States. The song that won was 'You and I' by Celine Dion, who happens to be Canadian and by law cannot even vote for Hillary. Does that sound strange to anyone else? So the woman who sang the song forever linked with the Titanic going down is now also singing the song that will supposedly lead to a Clinton return to the White House. I think her campaign could use some better advisors.

One of the softball teams we played against on Sunday had their own theme music. They played the Karate Kid song, the one that continually tells them 'You're the best'. Without confidence-boosting music of our own, we never had a chance against them. And no, our manager did not give us the order to sweep the leg.
We might not have music, but I'm looking for ways to inspire spirited play for our team. I'm going to create the Mad Cal Grand Slam inning to encourage hitting grand slams. (Unlike the Giants, we occasionally enough baserunners to load the bases.) Then we will dominate. Unless if our team decides to use the BEN BALLIN* method.


*The BEN BALLIN method was created by Dennis. It involves tanking games for several seasons while making shady deals. After several years of record setting futility, the team will finally achieve some level of success as a result of the illegal dealings. It is supposedly named in honor of Ben, but true BEN BALLIN was taken to its limits only by Dennis. This whole paragraph is based on an inside joke that started from an online baseball game but has now reached epic levels of comedy and entertainment.