I have a favor to ask of Mad Cal readers.

If I ever committ an offense that requires me to serve some jail time, please start a petition to keep me out of ths big house. I saw Shawshank and there is no way I would be able to crawl through 400 yards of sewage to freedom. I realize this request would have more pull if I had blond hair and had a few billion dollars and had a sex tape on the internet. Unfortunately, I've only got one of the three.