December 20, 2006

ELAINE: Hello.

MAESTRO: Well hello. And who might you be?

ELAINE: I might be Elaine.

JERRY: This is a, Bob Cobb.

KRAMER: Maestro.

ELAINE: Oh, Maestro.

MAESTRO: It is my very great pleasure. (Kisses Elaine's hand)


KRAMER: You know you hurt the Maestro's feelings.

JERRY: Oh what, because I didn't call him Maestro?

KRAMER: That's right.

JERRY: Ya know I feel a little funny calling somebody Maestro.


JERRY: Because it's a stupid thing to be called.

KRAMER: Jerry he's a conductor.

JERRY: Oh conductor. He conducts the Policeman's Benevolent Association Orchestra.

KRAMER: Well, he's still a conductor.

Guess what? I'm a conductor. Currently I am the conductor of the CBC Band and Orchestra. Although instead of Maestro, I should probably be called Maes-uh-oh.

I usually sit on the violin or lower brass section of the orchestra. But the usual orchestra conductors were both out for the Christmas concert. The first conductor Dave is now dealing drugs and masquerading as a doggie dentist. Jenny is a little occupied with American citizen number 300,000,000. I think there were probably a few better qualified candidates, but the BCS and the powers that be gave me the opportunity to be the conductor. I thought it would be easier waving a stick than trying to play the violin after a decade layoff, so I did it.

Of course, I didn't let the fact that I can't keep a beat or count to 4 stop me. The first couple of practices in November were disastrous. I had no idea what was going on. A few weeks later with the help a few orchestra veterans, it's gotten a bit better. I still make a mess of things, only about half of the group actually follows the baton (not that following the stick is guaranteed to provide solid results), and I don't get lost in the music (as much), but I think the group will sound okay this Sunday.

I know the Christmas concert is a pretty big event for CBC (at least until we get my version of the Christmas play approved) so please pray for our church concert performers and for those who will be giving the Christmas message this Sunday. And be sure to clap for the orchestra and band. Standing ovation is optional.

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