The residents living here at the Pointe Pacific complex are safety freaks. In this condo alone, there are 15 overhead fire sprinklers. I'm always worried that I will flood the place while cooking steaks or bacon-wrapped pork chops in the kitchen.

They (they = the powers that be behind the safety freaks) have also added more speed bumps on the roads in and out of the complex. There is a bump every 35 feet from the gate entrance to my parking spot. What I hate is the bumps are not all the same size. I can run over most of them, but there are 2 that cause my vehicle to bottom out if I go too fast. I might need to get a SUV just so I can drive out of the complex.

There are signs that say the speed limit is 15 mph. I ignore these signs and the stop signs within the gates as well. But today, I was driving up the hill and I saw 2 women walking their dogs. (85% of the people living here have dogs.) For some reason, there is no sidewalk or walkway, so pedestrians have to walk on the same road as cars. Somehow that is considered safe, even though the road is just wide enough for one car in each direction. Anyways, I see them about 50 feet ahead so I move to drive way over on the left side of the road to give them and the dogs plenty of space. As I drive by, one of them gets this panicked look and puts up her hands and mouths the words 'Whoa, slow down!' I give her the I-got-it wave as I look at my spedometer. 18 mph. Not a typo. Eighteen miles per hour.

I can almost run faster than that. Seriously. A month ago, I ran an unofficial 40 meter dash in 5.1 seconds. That translates to 17.54 mph.