September 25, 2006

Tonight marked the return of professional football to the the Superdome. But more importantly, it also marked the return of NFL cheerleaders to the city of New Orleans.

Last week, I went with Wayne to a Warriors event up at Cache Creek. We played some crooked card version of craps and met Al Attles and a few of the Warrior Girls. Wayne is the real stud. He has the picture with all 8 girls. Apparently to be a Warrior Girl, you need to meet at least 3 of the following 5 requirements: 1) nose ring, 2) navel piercing, 3) tattoo on lower back 4) be under 5'6" and less than 120 lbs, and 5) aspire to be a dancer or model.

I think that in general, NFL cheerleaders are hotter than NBA cheerleaders. (MLB and NHL need to get with the program. I think the Cincinnati Reds may have had some cheerleaders at a few games.) This might be just because the average NFL squad outnumbers the average NBA squad. NBA cheerleaders also have to dance more whereas the NFL girls just have to look good and make swimsuit calendars so maybe the hoop girls get worn down more.

Of course, my loyal readers (all 3 of you) know that I believe cheerleaders are a vital part of every team based on the formula (C-M)*H = V, where C is the number of cheerleaders, M is the number of Male cheerleaders, H is the sum of the ten highest scores among the cheerleaders on the standard 1-10 Hotness scale. The team with the higher V will have the best chance of Victory. (This formula has not been checked for mathematical plausibility.) Based on the Warrior Girls present last week, I don't think the Oakland Arena will be hosting any playoff games this season. Not saying the Warrior Girls aren't pretty, but they've got a lot of work to do to catch up with the Miami and Phoenix squads. Miami were last season's NBA champions and Phoenix might be this year's champions. I hope Chris Mullin is reading this.

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