W-E-T P-E-T-S, W-E-T P-E-T-S, Wet Pets, San Pablo.

That's the last line of the best local cable commercial ever. For those of you who don't live in the Richmond/San Pablo/E.C. area, it's a commercial for a pet store that uses a rap jingle. One part rhymes scorpion with something by pronouncing it scorp-ee-yon.

I was thinking about getting some fish as pets. So of course, I had to go to Wet Pets for them, because their commercial was just too good for me to even think about going anywhere else. I got 5 of those little neon tetra, the ones with the blue neon stripe on its side. They would look pretty good trapped in a glass container sitting on my desk.

My only concern was that the water temperature might be too cold for them in the house. A pet polar bear would freeze in this house. But I didn't think that it was worth the trouble to get an aquarium heater. I was going to condition my fish to live in cold water and then breed them to create a legion of neon supra-tetras who could survive in any water conditions.

So I make the Wet Pets trip on Friday afternoon and put my fish in a little tank at home and they seem just fine. I kind of forgot about them until later that night. After I was knocked out of one of our poker tournaments, I retreated to the loser's lounge (aka my room) and I noticed that the fish were not swimming around anymore. They just kind of laid there. In fact, they were literally sleeping with the fishes. D-E-D P-E-T-S, D-E-D P-E-T-S, Dead Pets, El Cerrito.

I don't know if they froze to death or if there is something in the EC water that we need to know about. (I specifically asked the Wets Pets guy if I need to do anything special for the water, and dude just told me plain old water would be fine.) In any case, just more reason for the folks at PETA to come after me. Maybe I'll try a lizard next. Or a scorpion. Anything that can survive in a 51 degree climate.


But the best commercial on tv without a doubt is the Nextel commercial where the guys are in the office dancing to Salt N Pepper's Push It. I watch tv just so I can see this 30 second spot.