January 19, 2006

Looks like Tom Brady, his 5 layers of Visa Protection, and the Diet Pepsi Machine were unable to overcome a few bad calls and generally sloppy play last week. All the teams I like are now out of the playoffs. I can't wait for the college football season to start again. So I can lose more money by betting on Cal.

But just to play out the season, here are my minimal-money-invested-because-I-don't-trust-any-of-these-teams picks:

Both these teams can play the no-respect card because nobody outside their home cities wanted to see them over the Colts and Patriots, who by the way should file a police report because they were robbed last week. Despite being the road team, I'm picking the Steelers because I think the Bus is mad about how he almost blew the game last week and will get 135 yards by himself.
Steelers +3 vs Broncos

Carolina has screwed me all season, but has been money in the playoffs. This was a tough pick, and I had to go all the way to the fourth tiebreaker, which meant checking out police reports. Carolina has a former cheerleader (looking so very not hot in that mugshot) pleading guilty to disorderly conduct and obstructing a police officer during a fight that started where she was having sex with another cheerleader in a public bathroom. Seattle has a starting defensive lineman getting busted for domestic violence.
And Carolina lost their starting running back, which means that Nick Goings is now on track to become a Super Bowl MVP and suckering some team to pay him big bucks for next season where he will go back to being a third string player.
Panthers +3.5 vs Seahawks

Current playoff record: 5-3

Bonus NFL note: The 49ers hired former Raiders coach Norv Turner to become San Fran's OC (Offensive Coordinator, no relation to the tv show and I blame Arrested Development for this habit). Last year with Alex Smith and the Junior Varsity, the 49ers averaged 14.1 points a game. The Raiders, with players like Randy Moss, Jerry Porter, and Lamont Jordan averaged 18.1 points a game. That means Joe Nedney should be taken by the 5th round of your fantasy draft next year.

No comments: