January 24, 2006

Every couple of months, I swear I am never going to play online poker again. Only to get sucked back later. Well, after a string of horrendous beats, I'm quitting again. For at least a month this time. Of course, I don't play for huge amounts of money (only because I have this thing called food and rent that take up a signifigant part of my budget), but I'm surprised how angry some people get over small stakes tournaments. Seriously, some people are crazy. (I'm talking $5 buy-ins, not $3/$6 or even $20 sit-n-gos.)

My favorite story took place about a week ago. I was playing a guy in a $5 heads-up tournament. We each have 1000 in chips and we play until someone wins all the chips and the $10 prize. I was catching him on bluffs and was up to about 1500 in chips. My opponent decided to start typing in the chat box. I'll paraphrase, but it was along the lines of 'You suck. You're getting lucky bastard. You suck.' I usually ignore any type of poker room chat because it's always stupid stuff like that. He stops typing and we keep playing a little while longer.

He gets back to about 700 in chips and all of a sudden decides to type 'You suck' about 8 minutes later. I don't know why he decided to do this as I have done nothing to anatogonize him so far. The next hand dealt to me was K-7 spades. I like suited cards. And I was getting pissed at this idiot. So I type 'Suck this!' and I hit the all-in button. He thinks about it for a few seconds, and then he calls with his 2 face cards. He flops 2 pair, but I don't care because there are also 2 spades on the board. The turn card was a spade, making my flush and destroying his two pairs. I then proceed to type the word 'suck' as many times as I can before he logs off. Yes, all this for $5.

But of course, every time the RNG actually helps you out, it screws you at least 6 times. Straights killed by flushes, ace-flushes getting smashed by straight flushes, full house beaten by fuller houses. My online poker budget will now become the bet against the Warriors budget. (Warriors are on the Blacklist. The Carolina Panthers are on the Pete Rose Lifetime Achievement Blacklist.)

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