August 30, 2005

On the Mad Cal hate list: 'random card generators'

They are anything but random. In fact, I think they are programmed to get players on tilt. I'm not quite at the super-hak 0-19 yet, but I've been getting beat down. Based on a number of observations I have made a list of rules to for myself to follow for online poker play. (Rules do not apply to play at card tables, where real poker percentages actually have a chance.)

-When you flop top 2 pair, fold because someone will have flopped a set.
-When you flop a set, there is a 72% chance someone will get a runner-runner straight or flush. Unless if you need the runner-runner.
-When you start with a middle pocket pair at a table with at least 6 players, someone else will also have a pocket pair. If the board decides to trip up, it will be for the lower pair.
-The random card generators will always favor the underdogs in a heads-up all-in situation. (A-4 will beat A-J, A-Q, or A-K. Against A-A, the flop will be 4-4-Q.) So when forced to go all-in, do so with a mediocre starting hand. The river card will always be the one card that helps the previously dominated hand win.

I hate how the RCG always gives the loser a pity card once they're busted out. I'll make a huge all-in raise with my A-Q, some guy will call with J-5 and flop will be J-J-5, giving me a 0% chance of victory, but there will be an A on the river, kind of like a parting gift.

I guess I can just go down to Casino San Pablo instead of griping about playing online, but that means I have to put on pants to go outside.

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