It gives me strength when I am weak
It quickens my spirit when I am lifeless
It restores my strength when I am weary
And it comes in 12oz cans or 20oz bottles

I am speaking of the great elixir known as Pepsi. It surely is the modern day manna from Heaven. Its taste is so sweet and pure that its formula could only have been inspired by the Great Creator himself.

I had gone a month without a carbonated beverage. I wanted to see if drinking more water and no soda would make me healthier. (I probably averaged 2 or 3 cans of soda a day.) It did not. Today out of necessitity, I ended my self-imposed boycott on soda. I caught a cold the night before and woke up still feeling the symptoms, so I had to cancel my morning golf plans. I took some medicine and slept in, which made me well enough to go to work. But a short while later, I was feeling weak and I knew only one thing would get me through the day. Pepsi. And since it was a busy day, a regular can would not be enough. I got a one liter bottle. One sip and my eyes were enlightened. My body was refreshed and ready to take on the many kids who would come in today. And now I feel great.

Last night, I was trying to get better by drinking water and TheraFlu and other medicine. No longer will I forsake the healing powers of the magical drink known as Pepsi. (However due to sponsorship issues and taste preferences, I will not drink Coke.)
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