Just in time for the weekend, Mad Cal's Super Bowl rants:

Thanks to Janet, the halftime/pregame shows and all the commercials will be boring. Not that I care about those things. I mean, the Super Bowl is just supposed to be the freakin championship game of the most watched sport in America. But more attention is paid to the commercials and the halftime performances and the feel good stories about loser players than the championship game itself. It's the sports equivalent of Christmas.

I hate Terrell Owens. Even some teammates have got to be sick of his 'look at me and my healing powers' act. Owens makes himself bigger than the team. Instead of stories about how the Eagles finally made it to the big game after coming so close for the last three years, all we read about is Owens' ankle.

I'm starting to hate Freddie Mitchell for the same reason. Mitchell had one good game, against a career where he has done nothing and he starts talking like he's an All-Pro. He sat on the bench behind Todd Pinkston. I don't even know if Freddie Mitchell was drafted in our 14 team fantasy football league.

I like the Patriots. I like the way they play as a team. I like their coaches. I like Tom Brady. I like Adam Vinatieri. I like David Patten (the General is a key part of my fantasy team). I think Troy Brown was awesome this year. I even like Tedy Bruschi.

So I want the Patriots to win. Let them have a dynasty. It's going to collapse once all the coaches leave this year, just like what happened to the 49ers many years ago. (I am channeling all my 49ers fury into this post.) I want them to blow out the Eagles by a score of 56-3. If not a blowout, here is the scenerio I want to see played out: Eagles trailing by 4 with the ball at the Patriots 7 yard line. 12 seconds left on the clock. 3rd and goal to go. Chunky Soup throws a quick slant to Owens at the goal line, but the ball goes off his hands right into the hands of Tedy Bruschi. Rodney Harrison gets there just in time to plaster TO into next season, Bruschi returns the ball 102 yards for a Super Bowl record and a miracle cover (spread is Pats by 7). Patriot fans and gamblers everywhere rejoice.

Just because I want New England to win doesn't mean they will. I had to use a more scientific way to determine a winner. Enter Madden 2005. I set the Pats and Eagles to play each other in Jacksonville, 5 minutes quarters at All-Madden level. I let the teams play at full health because a) I figure a healthy TO would be countered by a healthy Ty Law, and b) it was a lot less work for me. I would do a five game series and let EA Sports determine who would win the Super Bowl. I left the PS2 running and just watched one of the other tvs and checked back near the end of the games. (Yes, I like wasting time.) The series was won in 4 games by the ......Eagles.

Game 1: Eagles win 38-14. This game was a total abberation because Tom Brady had 5 of his team's 6 turnovers, 2 of which were returned for scores. In all the other games, neither team had more than one turnover.

Game 2: Patriots win 17-10. Owens could not haul in a pass in the end zone with 1 minute left in the 4th quarter on a 4th down play.

Game 3: Eagles win 10-7 in OT. Owens did catch the ball this time, with 33 seconds remaining in regulation. Patriots never touched the ball in OT.

Game 4: Eagles win 16-13. Vinatieri made a 51 yard FG with 21 seconds left to tie the game, but David Akers made a 37 yard kick with no time remaining.

So Madden 2005 thinks it will be a close game, and in true All-Madden style, both RB's will be shut down. Counter to traditional Madden strategy, special teams will be important. And turnovers will lead to defeat. But that's just in the video game. The Patriots will still win.