I'm heading over to Hawaii next week for a conference. So I've got a few days to get myself beach ready. I could go on a fast food free supermodel diet and work out like crazy for three days. But that's not going to do much good and three days without Taco Bell and KFC isn't going to happen anyways, so I'm going to plan B, which is just to suck in my stomach for 5 straight days.

It'll be the second time I make a visit to the island state. However, since my last trip, I have seen a movie that has changed the way I feel about flying over the Pacific Ocean. I've got to find a way to get around the security guidelines and have something I can use to protect myself in case there I encounter any snakes on the plane. Or hope that Samuel Jackson is on my flight.

"I have had it with these melon farming* snakes on this melon farming plane!"

*'Melon farmer' is the word used when they have to edit the language for tv. I'm using it to keep this blog PG-13. The original word has something to do with your maternal parent.