There's an old joke about how if an alien came to earth, they would think dogs ruled the world. People have to feed them, wash them, and pick up their poop.

But a scary thought is that maybe dogs do rule more than we think.

Ellen Degeneres broke down crying on her tv show yesterday. You would have thought she just received news that there was death in the family, but it was because a dog got taken away from one of her staffers for something she did. I don't know all the details, but I've never seem Oprah cry over a dog. Actually, I've never seen Oprah, period.

In her will, Leona Helmsey left $12M for her dog. I don't really know where all her money came from, but if she decided to leave $12M to a canine, I'm betting she either inherited it or married into it. What is this dog going to do? Buy some diamond-laced frisbees? Get some platinum collars?

A few months ago, a man in San Francisco died when he pushed his dog out of the way of an oncoming bus. I understand wanting to keep others out of harm's way. However, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around, where Lassie would come to the rescue.

I will even say Michael Vick's dogfighting upset more people than some low-life gang member taking out another person with a gun. Murder in Richmond, page 7 of the SF Chronicle. Vick kills dog, non-stop cable news coverage.


Maybe I'm just being insensitive. Of course, I am not much of a dog lover. I would love to punt a dog, which is why the Jack Black cameo in Anchorman is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.