I just picked up a bench and Livan Hernandez's weight in plates. So if I look buffer the next time you see me, you'll know why. There will be no astericks by my home run numbers.

This guy with too much money on his hands buys Barry Bonds' record breaking 756 home run ball, just so he can stamp it with an asterick and then send it to the Hall of Fame. I don't believe this crap about him actually letting the fans vote on the fate of the ball. If I spent over $750k on a baseball, I'm going to be the one determining its fate, okay? Like he's going to spend three-quarters of a million dollars just so everyone can tell him to toss the ball into outer space.

Wealthy people do a lot of stupid things with their money. If I ever win the lottery or hit a few of my 16 game parlays (I'm ruling out working as a means of getting rich), I like to think that I would have better uses for the money. Many people would buy a house or new cars or invest it somewhere to make more money. Not me. I would donate a chunk to my favorite non-profits and churches. I would pick up the remaining Willie Mays baseball cards I need for my collection. Then buy a used pickup truck that I would paint black with green flames. And if I still had a lot of money after that, I'd buy a football team and make myself the head coach/offensive coordinator.


The 16 game parlay action starts with West Virginia -7 this week.