Yesterday, someone sent me one of those random things to kill time at work. You plug in your name and it tells you what your ideal job would be. I usually delete these things, but it was near the end of the workday, so I gave it a try. Besides, how great is it that a computer program can determine your career from the moment your parents name you.
'Calvin Poon' gets me 'Computer Nerd.' Me, a nerd? That can't be right.
'Cal Poon' gets me 'Pole Dancer.' This was actually my first job many years ago.
'Cal' gets me 'Office Numpty.' Unfortunately, I'm too uneducated to know what a numpty is. Thankfully, we have the urban dictionary to help us out.
The best one was the job for 'Calvin' which was 'Goal Scoring Superstar Hero.' All superstar athletes go by one name. I working on plans to move to a small country, gain citizenship, then play for their national soccer team. Based on the latest FIFA rankings, it looks like Belize or East Timor could use a forward like me.
I guess goal scoring could also refer to hockey, but I skate worse than a trained monkey. I can't play goalie because I'm not big enough (I still beleive in the sumo-goalie theory) and they don't really qualify as 'goal scoring' players. In any case, I don't think I could play hockey, even in East Timor. Let me just finish off this post with the legendary words of the great Ralph Barberi: Go Sharks!