I received an invite to my 10 year high school reunion, but I'm not sure if I am going to go yet. On one hand, I already keep in touch or at least can get a hold of the peeps I like hanging out with. I don't really have too much interest in what Joe or Jane Lowell have been up to. On the other hand, I could pull a whole Romy and Michelle scam and tell great made-up stories about what I've done in the past 10 years.
Some of the stories I think I can pull off:
- I play lacrosse professionally in Saudi Arabia.
- Through my Hollywood connections, I now own the actual saw used in the movie Saw.
- That bottom line ticker on ESPN and CNN? I invented that. Made millions off it.
- The staplers that stand vertically instead of horizontally? Invented that also.
- I attempted to set a world record by holding my breath for 9 minutes in a giant water bubble and came up 6 minutes short.
- I placed 4th two years in a row in the National Scrabble Championship.
All I would need is one person to casually back up a few of my stories. So if you do see me at the reunion, be sure to ask me about Saudi Arabia or Scrabble.