I didn't go to work today. I'm sick. I have bracketitits. Symptoms include headaches, coughing, fatigue, and a bracket with so many holes that I was nominated for Pimp of the Year. (I really am sick. Yesterday, it's a good thing my name wasn't Jack Bauer. 24 Season 6 would have been me laying in bed for 22 hours. And then the exciting part would be me getting up to get some water.)

This was one the worst brackets I have ever filled out. Phoney teams are knocking off big time teams left and right. I think my only chance to finish in the money in any of my pools is if Florida makes the Final Four.

Vegas Hot List:

1. Boston College's miracle 8.5 point cover in double overtime. What a great way to start off March Madness by winning my first hoops parlay. Of course, I would only go on to win 1 out of my next 6 parlays.

2. Dinners. We ate at Bellagio's buffet and a steakhouse. I hadn't had a steak for a long time because I was waiting until I win my fantasy hockey league steak challenge. Dinners won from bets always taste better, but that porterhouse was pretty darn good.

3. Waitresses at the Palms. By far, the best drink girls anywhere in Vegas.

Vegas Not-Hot List:

1. Freakin Nevada, freaking unclutchest team ever UNC-Wilmington, freakin Syracuse, and lousy Iowa. All but Syracuse are blacklisted permanently. Iowa should be expelled from Division I hoops for losing to Northwestern St. Where is Northwestern St? Iowa manages to blow a huge lead and the game against this bastard of a name school. Aaaaarrrrgggggg! (I'm upset and I didn't even have money on this game.)

Bonus Iowa note: While playing some 2-4, some way drunk guy from Iowa was at my table. He started with 4-4 and I started with A-A. He flopped a set and I rivered my set to take a huge pot from him. I was 3-3 with pocket aces that session.

2. Craps and Roulette. 0-2 on the waitress yos. Poker at the Rivera is okay, but the craps table is instant death. Just standing near the table causes your money to fall out of your pockets. I am officially retiring from roulette (and any game with a spinning wheel for that matter).