July 29, 2004

I have some sad news to report. My sea monkeys are dead. All of them. The initial autopsies show that they died when someone forgot all about them and let them eat each other's corpses instead of feeding them bananas like the instructions said to. But foul play has not been ruled out. An investigation is underway to find the real killers. Maybe it's the same person killing rabbits at our house.

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