My American Idol audition this past winter did not go so well, but then I heard about this new show on ABC called 'Are You Hot: The Search for America's Sexiest People' (ABC Thursdays at 9pm) and I thought I'd give that show a go. This show was actually had a questionaire for screening contestants. I was a bit disturbed by a few of the questions. One of them asked "Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Describe." Another asked "Have you ever posed nude for any publication, been employed as an exotic dancer, or been the subject of any pornographic material? If yes, please explain. Please note: a yes answer should not disqualify you." Besides, it's none of their business that I did some time for aggravated assualt while making that cheerleader film with Sarah (she was in Joe Millioniare, amazing how that movie jumpstarted both our careers).

It turns out the questionaires didn't mean too much, as everyone just had to show up and walk down the runway. While the studio audience was hooting and hollering, the 3 judge panel makes an instant decision of hot or not. If 2 of the 3 vote hot, you go on. Wearing a black shirt and khakis, I easily passed the first round.

The second round was more like American Idol. It was also the swimsuit round. Some of the girls were hot. Especially this one chick named Amber who is a cheerleader for the Seattle Seahawks. The three judges, Rachel Hunter, Lorenzo forgot-his-last-name-but-he-was-the-guy-on-the-show-Renegade, and some dork named Randolph then gave out points in three categories: face, body, and sex appeal. It was kind of freaky how much Randolph would comment on the guys' bodies. A guy named Nick was wearing Speedos, but thankfully all the other guys took more conservative measures. As I stand there in my black Addidas swim trunks, the judges (or experts, as they are called on the show) give me their scores for face, body and sex appeal. Rachel gave me 7.5, 7.0, and 7.4. She said my hair was too long. Renegade man gave me 7.2, 8.2, and 8.3. He was really impressed with my pecs. Randolph gave me 1.1, 1.5, and 1.3. He told me I was quite possibily the most unsexiest person in America.

So now I just have to wait until the voting process ends to see if I move on in the show. I also have a Lorenzo Renegade guy autographed photo available on eBay.