August 21, 2008

I had a plan to run for President of the United States in 2016. I now have a new plan. I want to be Vice-President of the United States in 2016.

This way, I don't have to deal with running a long campaign. I don't even have to do any work to establish myself on the national level, as VP's always seem to come out of nowhere. I just have to present myself as a good looking likable guy that can help the presidential nominee get some votes. (I'm listed as an independent, so I can potentially work with the Dems and the GOP. Switch hitting politician!) I can pull in the entire Asian Nascar voting block by myself.

I'm not sure about the actual duties, but I think the VP gets to do all the work the President doesn't want to do. Stuff like reading the fine print in international treaties, showing dignitaries from Nigeria around Washington DC, and keeping tabs on our nuclear warheads. I hope the VP gets to run the White House softball team. I guess there's also official stuff like break ties in the Senate and take over the Oval Office in case the President has a heart attack, but there still should be enough time in the workday to check up on my fantasy soccer team and buy a few items on ebay. (I mean aside from starting wars and leaking secrets, what has Cheney done? Does anyone really know?)

I'm going to start sucking up to politicians and superdelegates now. Remember to vote for (insert 2016 presidential nominee here) and me in 2016!

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