March 2, 2006

ESPN has been giving Barry Bonds a lot of airtime based on his cross-dressing Paula Abdul act in spring training. I'm sure that Bonds is only doing it to hype up his own reality show. I don't care. If he plays at least 130 games this season, he can wear that wig all he wants.

I stopped watching the real American Idol because the hottest girl got voted off during the first week. She had a twin sister who looked equally hot. I thought she sounded great.

Only goes to show that we should never let the American public vote for anything. Seriously, it's getting out of hand. I think people get tired of meaningless polls and start to treat the general and local elections the same way. During any sporting event on tv, there will be the Cingular or Sprint interruption where you can text or call in to vote on the most useless things. Who will score the most points in tonight's game: A) Kobe Bryant, B) Yao Ming, C) Tracy Mcgrady, or D) Luke Walton. And you know that Luke Walton will somehow still get 6% of the vote.

When I become President, I'm going to outlaw voting and banish Dr. Phil from appearing on tv. That's after I abuse the current electoral system and Jedi-mind trick the public into voting for me. The hot twins will be my co-VPs.

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