This post is being simulcast on Messy Danny.

We feel that our best work comes over shouting at the television, and hopefully, we can capture just a moment of that in this text and share it with you.

Messy will be in normal text and Mad Cal will be in italics.

Should Vince Carter have given up his starting spot to Michael Jordan earlier rather than right before the All-Star game?

No. If the fans are giving him all this crap about giving his spot, they shouldn't have voted him in to start the All-Star game.

He should have at least offered up his spot earlier. He came off as a jerk and doing something too little too late now. It's not the fans that are giving him the crap. It's the people who know and enjoy basketball. Fans should have never voted him in, in the first place.

Did you notice the ovation he got when he got his first dunk in? Fans are stupid.

Fans are stupid. I've said it before, I'll say it again: The American public disappoints me.

Americans should not be allowed to vote?

Not about the All-Star game. Not about American Idol. Not about who should get married on TV. Have you heard about this new FOX show? Leave it to FOX. In the upcoming series Married by America, some "lucky" couple will be picked by the American public to get married on national TV. You and I both like FOX shows (24 and Joe Millionaire), but have they gone too far?

Remember, this is the network that put out Man vs. Beast. When you have eating contest between a man and a bear, marrying folks is a letdown.

I admit, I watched Man vs. Beast not once, but twice. In The Bachelor or even our favorite J.Mizzy, it's not the public that decides. This is too big of a decision to let the people who go see Kangaroo Jack make.

People want to make these decisions. This is why we have fan voting. We want to push the limits of our democracy.

Next topic: The Nike Shox commercial where the girl runs out of the subway, gets the pretzel, and gets back on the subway. That lady doesn't look fast. I understand the point of the commercial, but she just doesn't look fast.

Who cares what she looks like? Nike is selling a shoe with a mildly entertaining commercial. It sure as hell beats the Levi's commercial with the buffaloes. She wears the shoe, and she outruns the subway car. Go and buy your Nike Shox or a pretzel, depending on what you think the commercial is advertising. You don't seem to mind that the girls in the Miller Lite catfight commercial don't look like real wrestlers.

As a former runner, I'm insulted by the fact that she doesn't look fast. She wouldn't be able to outrun a giraffe. Have you seen the WWE divas lately? They would fit right in.

Could she eat more than a bear? Maybe if she's wearing Nike Shox, she could.

There's been a somewhat controversial line of advertising about SUVs supporting terrorists because of the amount of gas they consume. I'll tell you what. If we get rid of NASCAR, a sport you follow, we would save a whole bunch of gas, and people could their SUVs without supporting terrorists.

That's not true if you do the math. There are approximately 45 NASCAR drivers and about 300 NBA players, all of which own at least one SUV. Get rid of the NBA, and you'll save a lot more gas.

People care about the NBA. People don't care about NASCAR.

People do care. 400,000 show up to the Daytona. That's more than the Memphis Grizzlies entire season attendance. NASCAR is big. NASCAR has grown more in the last 5-10 years than any other sport in America.

The NBA is an international game with a global audience. NASCAR has an audience of 400,001. Those Daytona fans and you.

This next section is the Toss-Up section borrowed from Pardon the Interruption...

Who will Joe Millionaire choose: Sarah or Zora?

I think he'll pick Zora, but I'm rooting for Sarah only because she would make for better television. If Zora truly is psychic, the surprise isn't as fun.

He'll pick Zora. He's been stringing Sarah along just because she's hot. He was gonna pick Zora all the way.

Who would you rather have on your team right now: Antawn Jamison or Vince Carter?

Jamison. Carter is soft, injury prone, and doesn't like to give up his undeserved starting spot in the All-Star game. Jamison has been steady and solid.

I would take neither. Both are not worth the money.

Better duo: Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson or Jet Li and DMX?

Jet Li and DMX, because Jet Li can kick Jackie's butt and DMX will bust a cap in Owen.

Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson don't need wires to do their stunts. X gonna give it to ya, but Jackie and Owen will give it to ya for real.

Who is better suited to save the world: Jack Bauer or Sydney Bristow?

Sydney is more versatile, more knowledgeable, and no guy is gonna refuse her when she's wearing lingerie. She makes espionage look really good.

To save the world, I'll take Jack. Sydney gets a lot of help. Vaughn always shows up and she has to call her dad to get her out of trouble. But if I'm in trouble, send Sydney in a bikini.

Who would you rather be in the fellowship: Aragorn or Legolas?

Aragorn because he's a versatile fighter and he's gonna get the girl in the end. You should be the dwarf.

If anything, I should be a hobbit. But I'd rather be Legolas, all the way. You cannot deny that jumping on the horse move was sick. If the elven women look like Liv Tyler, Aragorn can have his woman (ed. note: Mad Cal hasn't read Return of the King).

Finally, is Ja Rule better with our without Ashanti?

Ashanti is better without Ja Rule.

The whole world is better without Ja Rule.


That's a sample of our daily conversations. If ratings go up, perhaps Messy Danny and I will work together more. If ratings go down, Danny will get the Steve Mariucci treatment.